It is the waiting game once again. I should be used to it by now but I most definitely am not. IF is all about waiting and being patient. Seriously I do not know how we do it most of the time but we do because we have to what other choice do we have? Giving up is not an option even if at times we may feel like it. Taking a step back to just breathe.
Monday's scan went well, all follicles progressing and my lining was great. I had eleven follicles, seven on the left and four on the right. The nurse was unsure if I would have EC on the Wednesday or Thursday but they would let me know by the end of there work day. So I was sent home with medication to be able to carry on with if I would have EC on the Thursday. I was relieved to know that I had at most just three more injections to go and would soon be able to throw the damn nasal spray out!
Monday afternoon was spent in work making sure all employees wages were done due to both of the bosses being out of the office. One was in the office in Ireland the other off for a funeral. I was glad I was in work as it kept me busy although I did keep checking my phone. The call came just as I arrived home from work at 4.30pm and I was booked in for EC on Thursday 24th at 8am.
I did my Men.opur injection Monday and Tuesday evenings finished my spray at 8pm also on Tuesday. Then the final time specific injection on Ovi.trelle was done at 9.15pm. Wednesday was like a day off no medication at all. Though it was strange I kept thinking that I was forgetting to do something.
We were up nice and early Thursday morning to be able to get to the clinic in time. J had a room booked for 7.45am to provide his sample. All along the plan was for him to do it at home and take it with us but with all the snow we were having there was no way we were risking getting stuck in traffic and the sample being too old. Once he was done we both were taken through to the back room where I changed in to the lovely hospital gown (at least this one covered me and I could do it up).
My nurse came and sat with me and went through all the paperwork and checks (I must have been asked my name and date of birth five times but better to be sure right?). I was second on the list of just four for that morning, so yes another wait. J and I just sat and chatted he tried to keep me at ease being his normal funny charming self. Other people would think he was totally overstepping the line but he does it purposely with me as a joke and it makes me laugh. If I thought for one second he was being serious I would kick his butt.
Things did get a little upsetting when the lady due in after me had her cycle cancelled. Everything had gone perfectly for them but she had gotten sick just the day before. As she had actually vomited less than 24 hours before the anaesthetist would not give her the sedation as there was too high a risk of her aspirating. The poor women was so distraught and her husband was out in one of the rooms doing his sample it must have been the longest ten minutes of her life.
I was taken in just after 9am and was back awake by 10am. The embryologist came to see me and confirmed they collected 11 eggs at this stage they did not know if they could all be used or not but 11 was a good number. My nurse brought me a sandwich egg and cress mayo and a cup of tea and I text J to come back for me. We were allowed to leave as soon as I had been able to empty my bladder so we were on our way home by 11.30am.
I was in quite a lot of discomfort at this point. It felt like my endo was flaring and both ovaries were aching. I took painkillers as directed by the nurse and needed them again all day Friday. In a way the discomfort I was in helped me get through the two day wait for the call to find out what is happening. I was hoping ET would be the Saturday you know get it over and done with and come home and relax. I woke up Saturday and felt a lot better pain wise.
We got the call at 9.20am of the eleven eggs all were good but only three fertilised. At first I was devastated three was such a low number when we started off so well. They reassured me though that two were progressing extremely well and the third was progressing but was a bit behind the other two. They wanted to culture them for another 24 hours but would likely be calling me for ET the next day Sunday 27th. The 27th is a great date for me as it is my birth day not January but still a good omen.
We were again both awake early that morning. J put the tennis on so we sat in bed and watched Andy Murray v Djokvic ( I have no idea what bis first name is so I must find out). I was willing the phone to ring and finally at 9.30am it did. Our 3rd place embryo had stopped developing so we were now down to two of which one had pulled ahead of the other. They had booked me in for 12.20 for ET and would be putting back just the one and best embryo.
The ET part is all pretty boring you change into a gown get taken through to the transfer room. I got to sit in a high tech seat that lifted up and tilted back. The rest was a bit like having a smear (pap) test. Once they were ready and in place the embryologist brought out our embryo and it was placed in my uterus. It was held in place for twenty seconds and then the equipment was checked to make sure the embryo had transferred properly and was not still stuck in or on it. All was good so I was lowered out of the chair and we were free to leave as soon as we were ready (as long as it took for me to get dressed.
By 1pm we were in the car on our way home and for the first time in my life I could say I was pregnant!
Once again we now wait, until February 9th, then we test.
If AF arrives or not we still test to make sure there is no ectopic pregnancy.
So for now all my fingers and toes are crossed and I am praying that this works.
That in 9 months time we get to bring home our miracle.
So for now I am just going to breathe.............................
Monday, 28 January 2013
Saturday, 19 January 2013
Update day 24
I thought I had posted since my lucky 13 post but I guess not. Sorry to keep you all hanging without any updates. Today is day 24 and so far so good but not without one huge obstacle getting in our way!
My drugs were delivered to my house on December 21st so I had a quick look through to see what was in the box. Lots of needles! 8 days worth of me.nopur, saline, norethi.sterone and cyc.logest. I boxed it all back up and as I was now off work for two weeks for Christmas I decided to relax and enjoy the next few days before starting on the meds.
We had family come to us for Christmas dinner which was lovely. There were five of us, which was a nice easy number to cook for. Chaos descended once the rest of the family arrived later in the afternoon. It was, however, great fun to have everyone here enjoying each others company and playing board games. From Boxing day onwards we hardly did a thing I spent a lot of time in my pyjamas and caught up on sleep which was extremely lazy but worth it.
On the 27th I started on 5mg of Noreth.isterone twice daily. I have used this medication once before (for about 3 weeks) and it turned me into a hormonal lunatic. Luckily this time I was taking less and only for seven days and as far as I am aware I did not have the same side effects. At least my dh hasn't said anything. On the 29th I added in a nasal spray Sup,refact one spray at 8am, 12noon, 4pm, 8pm then two sprays before bed. This has been fine through the week when I would be up and in work by 8am but at the weekend when I tend to sleep in later it has been tiring. I have been having naps most Saturday and Sundays since starting the spray.
Before we could move on to the next stage I had to have started my period before day 16. Thank goodness that all was going to plan and on day 11 AF arrived which was another tick on the list. Day 16 on January 11th I had to have a blood test to decide if the drugs were working correctly. It was a nice quick visit to the clinic to have blood taken. I was told to carry on as per my schedule and that I would only receive a call if there were any issues with the blood test. If I didn't hear anything by 5pm then I could go ahead with injecting the meno.pur that evening.
I had already watched the instructional dvd on how to administer the injections once. So I thought it would be quick and easy to watch it again and get the first injection over and done with. Things didn't go quite so easily though. J was with me with the dvd remote hitting pause every few seconds so I could do what was needed. I was so unorganised and it was definitely a learning curve that first night. Even though I had set out everything I needed I hadn't opened things up and needed an extra pair of hands to get things done so it was a good job J was with me.
Just getting to the point of injecting myself was the hardest. I had worked myself right up and was shaking like a leaf. Actually sticking the needle in was easy! I hardly felt a thing. The following evening I had all the bits laid out and opened up so going through each of the steps was a lot easier. This time I was on my own and stayed completely calm. For anyone else doing this watch the dvd straight through right before starting. It isn't very long but well worth doing to get all the bits and pieces set up and ready to go. I had two needles to use on one syringe. The larger needle for drawing up the saline to put in to the men.opur then switching to the smaller needle to inject. The first night I had left the smaller needle in the packaging, big mistake, as the saline was in the syringe I couldn't put it down to open the small needle. The 3 small vials of men.opur also had lids on which I hadn't removed. Injection 2 - 9 have all been a lot better.
Day 23 was scan day to find out how I was responding. The only problem was they had forecast snow, with a red warning! In other words they were saying only travel if you have to as red warning means risk to life. It was awful out. We are just not cut out for snow. I phoned the clinic first thing to make sure they were open which they were and I told them we hoped to get there but would call with an update if we had any problems. My dad was on standby to take us as he has a 4x4 but even he said we wouldn't make it. Then they shut the bridge so there was no way we could get there and back safely. It really wasn't worth the risk.
I was lucky as I had enough drugs to carry on for Friday night but if we couldn't get there to be scanned on Saturday (today) the whole cycle would have to be cancelled. We knew the ploughs and gritters would be out through the night and most of the journey was on motorways. We had to be there between 9am and 12noon. We got up early to make sure we made it. Or street was the worst part we had to dig the car out and the road was a sheet of ice. Once we made it to the main road though it had been cleared. As it was early and quiet we made it in 40 minutes. I was very relieved to have made it and not have to cancel.
I had 6 or 7 follies in my good left ovary measuring from 8.5mm up to 19.4mm and 4 or 5 in my right bad ovary measuring 12mm up to 14.9mm and my lining was 9.5mm. The nurse said I was progressing well and gave me more meno.pur to carry on with over the next 3 days. I am booked in to be rescanned on Monday and she said it would likely be Thursday or Friday for EC.
Sorry for the overload. I know when I have searched to find out step by step what happens I have failed to find good information. Hopefully this will help someone else as long as I haven't rambled and gone on too much! I will do a quick update Monday evening after the next scan until then have a great weekend.
My drugs were delivered to my house on December 21st so I had a quick look through to see what was in the box. Lots of needles! 8 days worth of me.nopur, saline, norethi.sterone and cyc.logest. I boxed it all back up and as I was now off work for two weeks for Christmas I decided to relax and enjoy the next few days before starting on the meds.
We had family come to us for Christmas dinner which was lovely. There were five of us, which was a nice easy number to cook for. Chaos descended once the rest of the family arrived later in the afternoon. It was, however, great fun to have everyone here enjoying each others company and playing board games. From Boxing day onwards we hardly did a thing I spent a lot of time in my pyjamas and caught up on sleep which was extremely lazy but worth it.
On the 27th I started on 5mg of Noreth.isterone twice daily. I have used this medication once before (for about 3 weeks) and it turned me into a hormonal lunatic. Luckily this time I was taking less and only for seven days and as far as I am aware I did not have the same side effects. At least my dh hasn't said anything. On the 29th I added in a nasal spray Sup,refact one spray at 8am, 12noon, 4pm, 8pm then two sprays before bed. This has been fine through the week when I would be up and in work by 8am but at the weekend when I tend to sleep in later it has been tiring. I have been having naps most Saturday and Sundays since starting the spray.
Before we could move on to the next stage I had to have started my period before day 16. Thank goodness that all was going to plan and on day 11 AF arrived which was another tick on the list. Day 16 on January 11th I had to have a blood test to decide if the drugs were working correctly. It was a nice quick visit to the clinic to have blood taken. I was told to carry on as per my schedule and that I would only receive a call if there were any issues with the blood test. If I didn't hear anything by 5pm then I could go ahead with injecting the meno.pur that evening.
I had already watched the instructional dvd on how to administer the injections once. So I thought it would be quick and easy to watch it again and get the first injection over and done with. Things didn't go quite so easily though. J was with me with the dvd remote hitting pause every few seconds so I could do what was needed. I was so unorganised and it was definitely a learning curve that first night. Even though I had set out everything I needed I hadn't opened things up and needed an extra pair of hands to get things done so it was a good job J was with me.
Just getting to the point of injecting myself was the hardest. I had worked myself right up and was shaking like a leaf. Actually sticking the needle in was easy! I hardly felt a thing. The following evening I had all the bits laid out and opened up so going through each of the steps was a lot easier. This time I was on my own and stayed completely calm. For anyone else doing this watch the dvd straight through right before starting. It isn't very long but well worth doing to get all the bits and pieces set up and ready to go. I had two needles to use on one syringe. The larger needle for drawing up the saline to put in to the men.opur then switching to the smaller needle to inject. The first night I had left the smaller needle in the packaging, big mistake, as the saline was in the syringe I couldn't put it down to open the small needle. The 3 small vials of men.opur also had lids on which I hadn't removed. Injection 2 - 9 have all been a lot better.
Day 23 was scan day to find out how I was responding. The only problem was they had forecast snow, with a red warning! In other words they were saying only travel if you have to as red warning means risk to life. It was awful out. We are just not cut out for snow. I phoned the clinic first thing to make sure they were open which they were and I told them we hoped to get there but would call with an update if we had any problems. My dad was on standby to take us as he has a 4x4 but even he said we wouldn't make it. Then they shut the bridge so there was no way we could get there and back safely. It really wasn't worth the risk.
I was lucky as I had enough drugs to carry on for Friday night but if we couldn't get there to be scanned on Saturday (today) the whole cycle would have to be cancelled. We knew the ploughs and gritters would be out through the night and most of the journey was on motorways. We had to be there between 9am and 12noon. We got up early to make sure we made it. Or street was the worst part we had to dig the car out and the road was a sheet of ice. Once we made it to the main road though it had been cleared. As it was early and quiet we made it in 40 minutes. I was very relieved to have made it and not have to cancel.
I had 6 or 7 follies in my good left ovary measuring from 8.5mm up to 19.4mm and 4 or 5 in my right bad ovary measuring 12mm up to 14.9mm and my lining was 9.5mm. The nurse said I was progressing well and gave me more meno.pur to carry on with over the next 3 days. I am booked in to be rescanned on Monday and she said it would likely be Thursday or Friday for EC.
Sorry for the overload. I know when I have searched to find out step by step what happens I have failed to find good information. Hopefully this will help someone else as long as I haven't rambled and gone on too much! I will do a quick update Monday evening after the next scan until then have a great weekend.
Friday, 14 December 2012
Lucky 13
I know most people believe 13 to be unlucky, but for me it is my lucky number. It all started in June 2008 when I was admitted to hospital due to the mass on my right ovary. I found out I was in bed 13 and I was told I had ovarian cancer. Okay I know that doesn't sound very lucky and at the time I was a mess.
I was scheduled for surgery two weeks later. I was admitted to hospital on the Sunday on a different ward and as I was the first to arrive I got to choose which bed I wanted in our six bed bay. I chose the bed next to the window with a view out over the city. Not much to look at but a lot better than the wall! I later found out that I was again in bed 13 and this time it had been my choice. I wasn't too happy about it after my last stay.
Surgery went ahead as planned on the Monday and though I don't remember a lot, the main things were that they had not performed a hysterectomy and that they were now 99% sure it was not cancer but endometriosis. That made me the luckiest person ever that day. I was still able to try for our family and almost certainly didn't have cancer, I would have to wait for the biopsy results to be sure, but for now things were looking up.
Then yesterday, which was the 13th December, we had our latest appointment at the IVF clinic. It was all great news and we start on December 27th. This means that 2013 is hopefully going to be our lucky year. Plus we have been married 13 years this year. That number 13 keeps cropping up!
In 2008 I never thought any of this would happen. It has taken a long hard wait to get here! Emotions have been all over the place. One minute things are moving along and you feel amazing then you hit a brick wall and have to start again. This time though we have dates, drugs will be delivered to our home before the 27th and we have our listing of what to take and when. I will have to set alarms on my phone to make sure I don't miss things. I am so forgetful I need the extra reminder especially while I am in work as the hours just seem to fly by.
For a moment yesterday I felt myself getting extremely emotional, I wanted to cry but I managed to hold it together to get through the appointment. There was so much information that I really need to sit down and read through it all a few times to get it all straight in my head. I am sure once the 27th is here and we get going it will be much easier than worrying about it beforehand.
Not sure if anyone noticed but I also hit 75lb weight loss this week! My BMI started at 41.4 and is now 28.9. I had to be under 30 which I have achieved and now I am happy, with it being Christmas, to try and keep it where it is. Any more loss would be amazing but with so many goodies around right now and meals out at Christmas parties it may be a bit of a stretch.
I really hope this brings a great outcome for us. I also hope that those of you still struggling and still waiting to find a way get your dreams get where you want to be sooner rather than later. I am very busy the next couple of weeks but will update as much as I can once I start the medications as I would love to be a help even just one other person who may be going through this now or in the future.
Here's to 2013 my lucky year (fingers crossed)!
I was scheduled for surgery two weeks later. I was admitted to hospital on the Sunday on a different ward and as I was the first to arrive I got to choose which bed I wanted in our six bed bay. I chose the bed next to the window with a view out over the city. Not much to look at but a lot better than the wall! I later found out that I was again in bed 13 and this time it had been my choice. I wasn't too happy about it after my last stay.
Surgery went ahead as planned on the Monday and though I don't remember a lot, the main things were that they had not performed a hysterectomy and that they were now 99% sure it was not cancer but endometriosis. That made me the luckiest person ever that day. I was still able to try for our family and almost certainly didn't have cancer, I would have to wait for the biopsy results to be sure, but for now things were looking up.
Then yesterday, which was the 13th December, we had our latest appointment at the IVF clinic. It was all great news and we start on December 27th. This means that 2013 is hopefully going to be our lucky year. Plus we have been married 13 years this year. That number 13 keeps cropping up!
In 2008 I never thought any of this would happen. It has taken a long hard wait to get here! Emotions have been all over the place. One minute things are moving along and you feel amazing then you hit a brick wall and have to start again. This time though we have dates, drugs will be delivered to our home before the 27th and we have our listing of what to take and when. I will have to set alarms on my phone to make sure I don't miss things. I am so forgetful I need the extra reminder especially while I am in work as the hours just seem to fly by.
For a moment yesterday I felt myself getting extremely emotional, I wanted to cry but I managed to hold it together to get through the appointment. There was so much information that I really need to sit down and read through it all a few times to get it all straight in my head. I am sure once the 27th is here and we get going it will be much easier than worrying about it beforehand.
Not sure if anyone noticed but I also hit 75lb weight loss this week! My BMI started at 41.4 and is now 28.9. I had to be under 30 which I have achieved and now I am happy, with it being Christmas, to try and keep it where it is. Any more loss would be amazing but with so many goodies around right now and meals out at Christmas parties it may be a bit of a stretch.
I really hope this brings a great outcome for us. I also hope that those of you still struggling and still waiting to find a way get your dreams get where you want to be sooner rather than later. I am very busy the next couple of weeks but will update as much as I can once I start the medications as I would love to be a help even just one other person who may be going through this now or in the future.
Here's to 2013 my lucky year (fingers crossed)!
Sunday, 9 December 2012
Planning appointment on Thursday
After such a long time waiting I will finally find out on Thursday when we will be starting treatment. It is clearly on my mind as I had a strange but good dream last night. In my dream I had already done the treatment and was waiting to find out if it had worked or not. The dreaded two week wait! I was with my friends (or it could have been my sisters, I am not too sure) and was worried about climbing down from somewhere. I had to jump down from a height and refused to do it so turned back and went back the way we had just come from. From that I jumped straight to being at a hospital being checked over and the nurse/doctor found a heartbeat with their stethoscope.
Obviously I know that this is not something that would happen. There would be no heart beat in the two week wait but I woke up with that feeling of the treatment working out and giving us our dream, a family. I will always have the little nagging feeling in the back of my mind that things may not turn out the way we want them to. I think it never goes away. It is there to save us from falling too far if bad news does come. However when I first woke up I felt a sense of peace.
It is hard to put in to words how much I want this. I know many of you have the same feelings as I do so understand exactly what I am trying to say here. Roll on Thursday so I can start preparing for the start of self injecting, hormones going crazy and hopefully in a few months I will be able to share good news here.
Obviously I know that this is not something that would happen. There would be no heart beat in the two week wait but I woke up with that feeling of the treatment working out and giving us our dream, a family. I will always have the little nagging feeling in the back of my mind that things may not turn out the way we want them to. I think it never goes away. It is there to save us from falling too far if bad news does come. However when I first woke up I felt a sense of peace.
It is hard to put in to words how much I want this. I know many of you have the same feelings as I do so understand exactly what I am trying to say here. Roll on Thursday so I can start preparing for the start of self injecting, hormones going crazy and hopefully in a few months I will be able to share good news here.
Saturday, 10 November 2012
Made it to the top
After years of battling and trying to get someone to listen to us we have finally made it to the top of the IVF waiting list. After my laparotomy in 2008 it took until December 2010 to eventually get a doctor to write the referral letter we needed to be placed on the NHS IVF waiting list.
Our initial consultation was April 18th 2011 which gives you your official start date for the wait to begin treatment. At this appointment we were told it would be 12-18 months. On August 20th, after 16 months os waiting, we received a phone call from our clinic giving us the option to transfer to another clinic where we wouldn't have such a long wait. If we decided to stay with the current clinic we would not be seen until April 2013 or maybe even later. If we decided to go ahead and transfer we would have an appointment in 6-8 weeks.
Under normal circumstances I would have just said yes straight away. Who wants to stay on a list where you could be waiting for lord knows how long as no one could really give any straight answers. Or transfer to a clinic albeit further away but where there is no waiting time. I said we would think about it and come back to her at which point I was told they needed to know by Friday just four days away.
After taking with J and researching all the info I could about both clinics my decision was easy. J said that the final decision was up to me but he would support whatever decision it might be. The wait time for clinic A was a lot longer than clinic B. I also found a website where success rates and clinic details are listed. Clinic B was having much better success rates and overall everything I read was just so much better all round. Plus clinic B was in the top 10 in the UK. Our decision was made and on Thursday August 23rd I phoned and said that yes, please go ahead and transfer us.
You would think with my research done I would have been happy with my decision, and don't get me wrong I was. With all things fertility related you always, or at least I do, second guess yourself. I was lucky as a week later we went to Antigua and had two weeks of pure blissful relaxation. I don't think I thought about IVF while we were there and if I did it must have been very short lived as I don't remember it.
I spoke with clinic A when we returned home to ensure my latest lap results were in my file to go over to clinic B. They weren't but I was told that they would be before the file was sent across. So once again it was just time to wait. True to there word we received out appointment 6 weeks after our notes were sent over with my lap results included. So this is where the fun starts we are two appointments down and planning appointment is next. I will finally have dates of when it will all be starting.
So far we had appointment for:
October 31st - Bloods and SA
November 5th - Met with doctor filled out lots of paperwork and had an ultrasound
December 13th - Planning appointment is booked
January - Likely start for treatment
Our initial consultation was April 18th 2011 which gives you your official start date for the wait to begin treatment. At this appointment we were told it would be 12-18 months. On August 20th, after 16 months os waiting, we received a phone call from our clinic giving us the option to transfer to another clinic where we wouldn't have such a long wait. If we decided to stay with the current clinic we would not be seen until April 2013 or maybe even later. If we decided to go ahead and transfer we would have an appointment in 6-8 weeks.
Under normal circumstances I would have just said yes straight away. Who wants to stay on a list where you could be waiting for lord knows how long as no one could really give any straight answers. Or transfer to a clinic albeit further away but where there is no waiting time. I said we would think about it and come back to her at which point I was told they needed to know by Friday just four days away.
After taking with J and researching all the info I could about both clinics my decision was easy. J said that the final decision was up to me but he would support whatever decision it might be. The wait time for clinic A was a lot longer than clinic B. I also found a website where success rates and clinic details are listed. Clinic B was having much better success rates and overall everything I read was just so much better all round. Plus clinic B was in the top 10 in the UK. Our decision was made and on Thursday August 23rd I phoned and said that yes, please go ahead and transfer us.
You would think with my research done I would have been happy with my decision, and don't get me wrong I was. With all things fertility related you always, or at least I do, second guess yourself. I was lucky as a week later we went to Antigua and had two weeks of pure blissful relaxation. I don't think I thought about IVF while we were there and if I did it must have been very short lived as I don't remember it.
I spoke with clinic A when we returned home to ensure my latest lap results were in my file to go over to clinic B. They weren't but I was told that they would be before the file was sent across. So once again it was just time to wait. True to there word we received out appointment 6 weeks after our notes were sent over with my lap results included. So this is where the fun starts we are two appointments down and planning appointment is next. I will finally have dates of when it will all be starting.
So far we had appointment for:
October 31st - Bloods and SA
November 5th - Met with doctor filled out lots of paperwork and had an ultrasound
December 13th - Planning appointment is booked
January - Likely start for treatment
Friday, 14 September 2012
Antigua
Just a quick post to say hello from my sun lounger on the beach in Antigua.
I am home on Sunday and will do a post with pictures of this beautiful island. See you all Sunday when I will be spending hours probably to catch up with you all.
I am home on Sunday and will do a post with pictures of this beautiful island. See you all Sunday when I will be spending hours probably to catch up with you all.
Thursday, 23 August 2012
Setting goals
(courtesy of google images)
Setting goals can be both good and bad. Especially when it comes to weight loss. For me I try not to be too rigid with anything I set for myself with regards to my weight loss as I know if I don't reach it when I set out to it changes my positive attitude to a negative attitude. That is never a good thing the glass should always be half full. I am doing very well with keeping the positive attitude and it really is helping my weight loss every week.
As you have probably noticed I changed my ticker. The reason for this is that I reached the first goal I set for myself. In order for the NHS to allow me to go ahead with IVF I had to have my BMI as 30 or less. April 2011 it was over 40 way to high and I had 12 -18 months on the waiting list to reduce it. I am a few days over 16 months of being on the list and my BMI is finally below 30.
I thought reaching the IVF goal weight would bring tears when I climbed on those scales but I was strangely very calm. I think it was the relief of reaching a place that I thought was so unachievable in the beginning that I just felt at peace.
My goals entail small steps never anything too big and I have learnt now not to put time limits on myself. I still think to myself that it would be nice to reach a certain weight by a certain time for example I would love to be at my final goal weight in time for Christmas but if I am not it really isn't a big deal anymore as I know I will get there eventually. Now my goals are 7lb at a time and sometimes there are smaller goals in between each 7lb like a certain % of weight lost. With last nights 2lb loss I hit 10 lots of 7lb and to reach the next one I have 6.5lb to lose but between then just a 4.5lb will mean I have lost 30% of my starting weight. Small goals are great and really keep that motivation up.
Last night in wei.ght watch.ers the lady who takes the class was asking if we had thrown out all our now too large clothes. When she came to me I told her that mine were all in black bags ready to go but I wanted to get rid of everything in one go so would be doing it when I got to goal. Immediately she picked up on the fact that I had said when and not if. It is a big deal to believe you will reach your goal and no longer questioning it. I am not really sure when on this journey that happened for me but I am so glad that it did. It just makes each week easier and helps when you don't have a great number on the scale.
So for anyone reading who is struggling just keep at it and celebrate the small losses and small goals. It is possible and you can do it. You just have to keep going. It took years of bad eating to put the weight on so we have to give it enough time to come back off and change those bad habits we once had.
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