I am confused by the fact that my specialist discharged me. I still have severe endo and will be having major surgery in the future. They have told me they will need a bowel and bladder specialist for the surgery if and when we decide to go ahead.
The reason for the discharge was the fact that for now they can't do anything for me. I get my pain meds from my GP. I am 13 months in to the IVF waiting list which means I should reach the top anytime from June.
If the IVF works or not I will still need surgery to sort out my messed up ovaries, tubes and bowel. So this means I now have to start the process all over again. It just seems like I have to fight for everything. Some days I just don't have the energy to fight and I shouldn't have to.
Why could I not just stay on the specialists lists without having a 6 monthly check up?
As I am out of area how do I get my GP to refer me to the doctor I need to see?
I am trying to forget about the issues that this will cause as for now it is not an issue. Sometime down the line it will be but for now I need to forget it relax and concentrate on the IVF.
I still have 28lbs to lose before that can go ahead. That is something that needs dealing with now and what I am trying to concentrate on getting done.
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Sunday, 22 January 2012
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Final post of 2011
This year has gone by so quickly. I remember the struggle in 2010 to get my referral letter to the appropriate people to get me on the list for IVF. Finally on December 4th I was added. Then it seemed to take forever to get to the initial appointment with the clinic which we had in April. This was when I was told it was a 12 - 18 month wait. So just a few days in to 2012 and it will have already been 13 months!
I didn't know how I was going to get through this wait. It was such a long time. I also had my endometriosis surgery to focus on and get through. That was way back on February 15th! Almost 11 months ago.
I guess since I recovered from that I just decided to enjoy my life and what will be will be.
I joined ww at the end of June and I have lost 40lb's. Another 28lb to go but I am so much closer to that goal now. Add the fact I lost weight over Christmas week and I feel like I have achieved so so much.
In 2011 I also turned in to a bit of a telly addict. I watched Greys Anatomy from the beginning as I had never seen it before. Plus I have rewatched ER which is up to season 12 and I am on season six of One Tree Hill ( never watched this before either).
Any suggestions for other shows? I have just added The Wire into my planner as they are starting it from episode 1 on Jan 6th. Other shows I watch are Private Practise, Big Love, Blue Bloods, NCIS, Terra Nova, Falling Skies plus X Factor and American Idol. There are others I am forgetting (including Hawaii 5-0).
See what I mean!
It helps pass the time to keep busy and when I don't feel up to doing anything that involves moving too much thanks to endometriosis pain then watching tv is a great alternative.
So here's to 2012 may this be the year that those of us who want it so badly get our miracle. It has to be someones turn next fingers crossed I am in that elite list this year!
I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all
I didn't know how I was going to get through this wait. It was such a long time. I also had my endometriosis surgery to focus on and get through. That was way back on February 15th! Almost 11 months ago.
I guess since I recovered from that I just decided to enjoy my life and what will be will be.
I joined ww at the end of June and I have lost 40lb's. Another 28lb to go but I am so much closer to that goal now. Add the fact I lost weight over Christmas week and I feel like I have achieved so so much.
In 2011 I also turned in to a bit of a telly addict. I watched Greys Anatomy from the beginning as I had never seen it before. Plus I have rewatched ER which is up to season 12 and I am on season six of One Tree Hill ( never watched this before either).
Any suggestions for other shows? I have just added The Wire into my planner as they are starting it from episode 1 on Jan 6th. Other shows I watch are Private Practise, Big Love, Blue Bloods, NCIS, Terra Nova, Falling Skies plus X Factor and American Idol. There are others I am forgetting (including Hawaii 5-0).
See what I mean!
It helps pass the time to keep busy and when I don't feel up to doing anything that involves moving too much thanks to endometriosis pain then watching tv is a great alternative.
So here's to 2012 may this be the year that those of us who want it so badly get our miracle. It has to be someones turn next fingers crossed I am in that elite list this year!
I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all
Thursday, 8 December 2011
It's been a year! (Weigh In Wednesday)
I had to fight hard to get what I wanted and what we needed. Why I had to fight so hard I have no idea. After seven years of no birth control and not a single pregnancy I wanted my doctor's to listen to me and get me on the list for IVF. Here in the UK I am able to have two rounds of IVF on the NHS. It won't cost me a penny. I believe that one cycle consists of a fresh cycle plus and FET if there are enough fertilised eggs. So if I am right there are four chances for us to become pregnant.
I realised last night that it has been just over a year since I was added to the waiting list. See there is a downside to getting it free you also have to wait your turn. You get seen in the order that you are added to the list. So December 4th was the one year point. When I had my appointment back in April I was told that it was a 12 - 18 month wait. Going by everything else within the NHS I knew it was going to be longer so I have told myself that 18 months would be great but to be prepared to wait two years.
If it does turn out that two years is the correct timing then I am halfway there. I can wait another 12 months. It of course will be hard we are not getting any younger! J turns 40 in 2012. I feel like we will be the oldest parent ever.
Of course we won't but when all your old school friends all have children who are closer to ten years old than babies it makes you feel left so far behind everything.
I know that being an older mum will be beneficial in so many ways. I have learnt so much more patience. I have watched what my sisters do with there children and know which parts I will not do with mine and which I will.
Plus last night was Weight Watchers!
After last weeks stall this week was back to better news! Another 1lb off. This is a tough time of the year with so many parties and meals out. I have a meal out with some of our good friends tonight and then it is my works Christmas meal tomorrow night. For both we are going to all you can eat Chinese buffets. Chinese is my favourite but I will make wise choices to limit any damage done. I won't deprive myself I can still enjoy the food but like I have said before it is all a balancing to act.
I am sure I will be fine and if not then the following week it will be better.
Just quickly I want to say a big Congratulations to a fellow blogger friend of mine on the birth of her beautiful son! I am so pleased for her and her husband that her gorgeous son Ian Andrew is here.
Congratulations Princess Wahna Bea Mama over at The princess and the peestick
I realised last night that it has been just over a year since I was added to the waiting list. See there is a downside to getting it free you also have to wait your turn. You get seen in the order that you are added to the list. So December 4th was the one year point. When I had my appointment back in April I was told that it was a 12 - 18 month wait. Going by everything else within the NHS I knew it was going to be longer so I have told myself that 18 months would be great but to be prepared to wait two years.
If it does turn out that two years is the correct timing then I am halfway there. I can wait another 12 months. It of course will be hard we are not getting any younger! J turns 40 in 2012. I feel like we will be the oldest parent ever.
Of course we won't but when all your old school friends all have children who are closer to ten years old than babies it makes you feel left so far behind everything.
I know that being an older mum will be beneficial in so many ways. I have learnt so much more patience. I have watched what my sisters do with there children and know which parts I will not do with mine and which I will.
Plus last night was Weight Watchers!
After last weeks stall this week was back to better news! Another 1lb off. This is a tough time of the year with so many parties and meals out. I have a meal out with some of our good friends tonight and then it is my works Christmas meal tomorrow night. For both we are going to all you can eat Chinese buffets. Chinese is my favourite but I will make wise choices to limit any damage done. I won't deprive myself I can still enjoy the food but like I have said before it is all a balancing to act.
I am sure I will be fine and if not then the following week it will be better.
Just quickly I want to say a big Congratulations to a fellow blogger friend of mine on the birth of her beautiful son! I am so pleased for her and her husband that her gorgeous son Ian Andrew is here.
Congratulations Princess Wahna Bea Mama over at The princess and the peestick
Monday, 6 June 2011
The next step
I had an appointment with my specialist on May 23rd. It wasn't really good news and have put off blogging about it. I needed time to get my head around what they told me. I wasn't in a good place but I am moving forward and getting on with life. What else can you do?
My appointment was at 11.15am so I went to work as normal for 8am. It was a Monday and Monday's are, for me, just like the song manic. I got 2 hours worth of work done which I know would make the rest of the week easier for me. J picked me up at 10am and we drove to the hospital. We have only ever been to this hospital once and we were taking a different route this time. It was only a 30 minute journey at the very most so we had plenty of time. I always get nervous about being late though. Luckily this route was easy and we made it with 30 minutes to spare even after finding somewhere to park which was no easy feat.
As we were early we had a bit of a wait. We never go in to appt.'s on time, ever! We got called in around noon, which isn't bad just 45 minutes late. The downside it was not my specialist. I probably should have insisted that I see him but I gave this female doctor a chance first. She was actually really helpful and informative and I found out more from her that I had from anyone else. I had a list of questions and I got answers to all of them. They weren't necessarily the answers I was expecting to hear but at least now I know where we stand.
When I woke up from surgery I felt great. The shoulder pain had gone and I felt amazing as seen as I had just been through a gruelling operation. The pain came back pretty quickly I have been trying to ignore it, but, it is there. The shoulder pain comes and goes and isn't constant so there is some improvement with that. The back pain has also reduced but is still there from time to time. The fatigue is as ever present as it always has been. My cycle is heavy as usual but not quite so clotty. The normal pelvic/ovary pain is there throughout my cycle but worse in the days leading up to the start.
Even though my surgery lasted a lot longer than I had been booked in for they had still been unable to remove everything. My right hand side was so badly adhered they didn't touch it as they were worried about damage to my bowel. At this appt. I found out that when they had looked in that area and assessed it they had left well enough alone as if they had tried to unstick the tissue then they would have most definitely perforated my bowel. Bowel perforation would have meant a colostomy bag. I am so pleased I woke up without one of those. I was not prepared for that and if it had actually been a reality at the time I do not think I would have coped with it. If I had advance warning that it was a high probability I would have prepared my self for it and it would not have then been a shock.
There were other areas of endometriosis that were not removed and they were also left due to the worry over my bowel. I have a lot of bowel area stuck to places it should not be stuck. No wonder I am always in so much pain especially when using the bathroom! The fact that we had expressed that fertility was a major issue for us was what the doctors used during the surgery. If we had already completed our family and no longer wanted children I am sure they would have been much more aggressive and removed everything possible. To preserve my fertility they did what they could for now and I will be having further surgery at some point in the next few years.
I have to get through the next 12 months get to the top of that IVF waiting list and pray that we have a sucessful outcome. I am once again playing a waiting game. I wish we could afford to pay for treatment and just get on with things but all things come to those who wait.
My appointment was at 11.15am so I went to work as normal for 8am. It was a Monday and Monday's are, for me, just like the song manic. I got 2 hours worth of work done which I know would make the rest of the week easier for me. J picked me up at 10am and we drove to the hospital. We have only ever been to this hospital once and we were taking a different route this time. It was only a 30 minute journey at the very most so we had plenty of time. I always get nervous about being late though. Luckily this route was easy and we made it with 30 minutes to spare even after finding somewhere to park which was no easy feat.
As we were early we had a bit of a wait. We never go in to appt.'s on time, ever! We got called in around noon, which isn't bad just 45 minutes late. The downside it was not my specialist. I probably should have insisted that I see him but I gave this female doctor a chance first. She was actually really helpful and informative and I found out more from her that I had from anyone else. I had a list of questions and I got answers to all of them. They weren't necessarily the answers I was expecting to hear but at least now I know where we stand.
When I woke up from surgery I felt great. The shoulder pain had gone and I felt amazing as seen as I had just been through a gruelling operation. The pain came back pretty quickly I have been trying to ignore it, but, it is there. The shoulder pain comes and goes and isn't constant so there is some improvement with that. The back pain has also reduced but is still there from time to time. The fatigue is as ever present as it always has been. My cycle is heavy as usual but not quite so clotty. The normal pelvic/ovary pain is there throughout my cycle but worse in the days leading up to the start.
Even though my surgery lasted a lot longer than I had been booked in for they had still been unable to remove everything. My right hand side was so badly adhered they didn't touch it as they were worried about damage to my bowel. At this appt. I found out that when they had looked in that area and assessed it they had left well enough alone as if they had tried to unstick the tissue then they would have most definitely perforated my bowel. Bowel perforation would have meant a colostomy bag. I am so pleased I woke up without one of those. I was not prepared for that and if it had actually been a reality at the time I do not think I would have coped with it. If I had advance warning that it was a high probability I would have prepared my self for it and it would not have then been a shock.
There were other areas of endometriosis that were not removed and they were also left due to the worry over my bowel. I have a lot of bowel area stuck to places it should not be stuck. No wonder I am always in so much pain especially when using the bathroom! The fact that we had expressed that fertility was a major issue for us was what the doctors used during the surgery. If we had already completed our family and no longer wanted children I am sure they would have been much more aggressive and removed everything possible. To preserve my fertility they did what they could for now and I will be having further surgery at some point in the next few years.
I have to get through the next 12 months get to the top of that IVF waiting list and pray that we have a sucessful outcome. I am once again playing a waiting game. I wish we could afford to pay for treatment and just get on with things but all things come to those who wait.
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Such a let down
Sorry for not posting sooner. Mondays appointment at the IVF clinic was a bit of a let down. I really am no wiser now than I was before then. We were called in to see the doctor who flicked through our forms and asked questions as she did. They didn't have J's SA results which, as it is the same clinic, you would think they would have them on file and easily accessible. Obviously things are not that simple.
I explained about my endometriosis and the two surgeries I had had and due to the fact that most of my right ovary was removed they did an internal ultrasound and a blood test to check my ovarian reserve (AMH). Giving blood was easy the phlebotomist was very good and got the vein first go and hardly left a mark. Normally they struggle to get blood from me and I end up with numerous needle sticks and a large bruise. The ultrasound however was a different story! To say it was painful is an understatement. The reason for the pain was that there is a cyst on my left ovary. Seriously. Nine weeks after excision and I have a cyst.
I am hoping that the cyst will naturally disappear. I guess time will tell with that. The blood gets sent to Glasgow for testing and I have no idea how or when or even if I will get the results. As it is Easter I am going to give it a couple of weeks and then call them. I don't think I can stand not knowing. If I have no eggs then we can get on with other options. The next step for us which we have talked a lot about is adoption. I would rather know and move on now than wait 12 months when we will likely get to the top of the IVF list to be told.
The one thing I was told was that I have to lose a lot of weight. If I don't then treatment would not go ahead. I already knew that and as you all know my first week of healthy eating I lost 3lb's. Tomorrow I weigh again and hopefully I will get another 3lb. I find it extremely hard to lose weight even though I have so much to lose. So a slow and steady weight loss is what I am aiming for. In total I have to lose 68lb to get to the heaviest healthy weight they will allow treatment to commence. I am going to look for a ticker that I can put here. You are all needed to keep me on track and if I have a ticker you can keep up with how things are going.
I explained about my endometriosis and the two surgeries I had had and due to the fact that most of my right ovary was removed they did an internal ultrasound and a blood test to check my ovarian reserve (AMH). Giving blood was easy the phlebotomist was very good and got the vein first go and hardly left a mark. Normally they struggle to get blood from me and I end up with numerous needle sticks and a large bruise. The ultrasound however was a different story! To say it was painful is an understatement. The reason for the pain was that there is a cyst on my left ovary. Seriously. Nine weeks after excision and I have a cyst.
I am hoping that the cyst will naturally disappear. I guess time will tell with that. The blood gets sent to Glasgow for testing and I have no idea how or when or even if I will get the results. As it is Easter I am going to give it a couple of weeks and then call them. I don't think I can stand not knowing. If I have no eggs then we can get on with other options. The next step for us which we have talked a lot about is adoption. I would rather know and move on now than wait 12 months when we will likely get to the top of the IVF list to be told.
(Courtesy of Google images)
The one thing I was told was that I have to lose a lot of weight. If I don't then treatment would not go ahead. I already knew that and as you all know my first week of healthy eating I lost 3lb's. Tomorrow I weigh again and hopefully I will get another 3lb. I find it extremely hard to lose weight even though I have so much to lose. So a slow and steady weight loss is what I am aiming for. In total I have to lose 68lb to get to the heaviest healthy weight they will allow treatment to commence. I am going to look for a ticker that I can put here. You are all needed to keep me on track and if I have a ticker you can keep up with how things are going.
Monday, 18 April 2011
In less than two hours time.......
My dearest husband and I have our first appointment at the IVF clinic. The forms are almost completed I just have to get J to sign the bottom of his pages and we are good to go. I have our passports as identification and we both got new passport photos done for them to stick on our file. This is to identify us at each appointment after today. Makes sense really otherwise anyone could turn up as say they are us.
It is Monday which is wages day in work. I was in the bosses office when one of our employees came up with his form for his paternity pay. The boss asked lots of question, was it a boy or girl, what did they weigh, what have named them. I of course said Congratulations and promptly left the room! I fought back tears. I am normally okay with people who I am not close to. I guess this appointment this afternoon may be making me nervous. Plus I am ovulating today! Why oh why can't things just be simple and happen naturally.
Also after one week of healthy eating and a little (really little) exercise I have lost 3lb's! I am happy with that and hopefully will get the same loss again this week. It is hard sitting at a desk all day long although I do try to go downstairs as many times as possible throughout the eight hours I am here. Maybe J will help me out tonight and keep me company on a walk. The sun is shining so as long as work hasn't worn him out today I am sure he will be up for it.
I will try and update as soon as I can on how the appointment goes. Wish me luck!
It is Monday which is wages day in work. I was in the bosses office when one of our employees came up with his form for his paternity pay. The boss asked lots of question, was it a boy or girl, what did they weigh, what have named them. I of course said Congratulations and promptly left the room! I fought back tears. I am normally okay with people who I am not close to. I guess this appointment this afternoon may be making me nervous. Plus I am ovulating today! Why oh why can't things just be simple and happen naturally.
Also after one week of healthy eating and a little (really little) exercise I have lost 3lb's! I am happy with that and hopefully will get the same loss again this week. It is hard sitting at a desk all day long although I do try to go downstairs as many times as possible throughout the eight hours I am here. Maybe J will help me out tonight and keep me company on a walk. The sun is shining so as long as work hasn't worn him out today I am sure he will be up for it.
I will try and update as soon as I can on how the appointment goes. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
IVF appointment on Monday
That's Monday coming just six days away. It took us so long, and a hard fight, to get on the list and now we finally have our initial appointment. We get to find out what could possibly happen and when. I am excited, nervous and terrified all at once. I have googled and read information about IVF but there is so much out there and it is all so confusing. There are so many different options IUI, ICSI, IVF and then the medications so many choices. I wish I knew what was best for us and which medications I will be given hopefully Monday will bring at least a little clarity for us.
The one big thing that I do know is that I need to lose weight to be considered a healthy weight for the treatment to go ahead. I need to lose at least seventy pounds and I am hoping to maybe even lose a hundred! I went to the shop on the way home and stocked up on fruits and veggies. I bought pomegranate seeds to try but they were disgusting. I have also bought raspberries, strawberries, tangerines, kiwi, passion fruit, blueberries, grapes, apples and bananas. I have yogurt (I hate yogurt but thought I would give it another go) for breakfast and I am going to add some fruit rather than having cereals. That means less milk in my diet which the endo diet says is good. Apparently dairy causes inflammation.
I am such a fussy eater and I know I will struggle to find a variety of foods to keep me going and not get bored. I have made a batch of veggie soup which I will take to work tomorrow which cuts out bread. Anyone who has suggestions for me I will really appreciate them. I will just say though that I hate salad! I can cope with a little lettuce and cucumber but that's it. I will eat most meats and I like potato, rice and pasta.
I also have to work out some sort of exercise routine that will fit into my day but that won't drain me of the little energy I have. There are only so many spoons to last any one day. I have been making them last the past few weeks although some nights I can't wait to get in to bed. I will have to work out some way of stretching them a little further. If you are wondering why on earth I am going on about spoon's then read this The spoon theory . For some reason the actual website it is from isn't working so I will post that for you as well. It is www.butyoudontlooksick.com . Hopefully it will be back up and working soon.
So here goes the start of my weight loss to get to a healthy weight to get this IVF cycle off to a great start. I have plenty of time thank goodness as they say from referral to start of treatment is approximately eighteen months. Our referral date is December 3rd 2010 which means we are looking at May 2012. You all have permission to nag me and keep on at me to get this weight off. I need as much help and support in this as I can get. Here's to working out what exercise I can fit in and actually achieve without causing too much pain. Wish me luck.
The one big thing that I do know is that I need to lose weight to be considered a healthy weight for the treatment to go ahead. I need to lose at least seventy pounds and I am hoping to maybe even lose a hundred! I went to the shop on the way home and stocked up on fruits and veggies. I bought pomegranate seeds to try but they were disgusting. I have also bought raspberries, strawberries, tangerines, kiwi, passion fruit, blueberries, grapes, apples and bananas. I have yogurt (I hate yogurt but thought I would give it another go) for breakfast and I am going to add some fruit rather than having cereals. That means less milk in my diet which the endo diet says is good. Apparently dairy causes inflammation.
I also have to work out some sort of exercise routine that will fit into my day but that won't drain me of the little energy I have. There are only so many spoons to last any one day. I have been making them last the past few weeks although some nights I can't wait to get in to bed. I will have to work out some way of stretching them a little further. If you are wondering why on earth I am going on about spoon's then read this The spoon theory . For some reason the actual website it is from isn't working so I will post that for you as well. It is www.butyoudontlooksick.com . Hopefully it will be back up and working soon.
So here goes the start of my weight loss to get to a healthy weight to get this IVF cycle off to a great start. I have plenty of time thank goodness as they say from referral to start of treatment is approximately eighteen months. Our referral date is December 3rd 2010 which means we are looking at May 2012. You all have permission to nag me and keep on at me to get this weight off. I need as much help and support in this as I can get. Here's to working out what exercise I can fit in and actually achieve without causing too much pain. Wish me luck.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)