Sunday 17 March 2013

Overwhelming

I haven't known what to write for so long.  Every time I check in though my page views are increasing.  So I am sorry to those of you who have eagerly been awaiting an update from the scan.  I have had so many different emotions these past weeks.  I wasn't ready to write them down.

Anyway the scan went amazingly well!  On the drive there I was a nervous wreck.  I had been so calm for the whole cycle but by this point the emotions were ready to burst.  I kept consciously breathing in and out trying to stay in the calm state I had the whole time.  It was hard.  We were waiting to find out if the whole ordeal had worked would there be a heartbeat.

Luckily we didn't have long to wait and were called back for our scan.  The nurse checked some information  and dates and then it was time for the scan.  J held my hand and the nurse first of all turned the screen away which only made me more nervous!  But within seconds she turned it around and said there is the heartbeat and everything looks perfect.  I just burst into tears and they had to get me the tissues.  I didn't hear what was said for the next minute.  I was releasing all that pent up emotion and it felt great.

Once I had calmed down I was able to look at the screen and see the heartbeat.  There wasn't a lot to see with it being so early but you could easily see that heart beating.  We were able to film it on our phone so we can look at it when we want and show family.  I can not wait until our next scan where we will be able to see so much more!  We were also given scan pictures to bring home.

As we hadn't told a soul about starting the cycle we decided to go around and tell our parents and siblings the next day.  It was again very emotional.  They were all sworn to secrecy until we were ready to tell anyone else.  Amazingly they all did keep our secret, even my Nan, who never ever keeps secrets.  I bumped in to one of her friends and she didn't say a thing to me I was laughing inside knowing it must have killed her not to say anything.

It was great to have our family knowing and of course the support.  Even if they do ask how I am every five minutes.