Sunday, 9 December 2012

Planning appointment on Thursday

After such a long time waiting I will finally find out on Thursday when we will be starting treatment.  It is clearly on my mind as I had a strange but good dream last night.  In my dream I had already done the treatment and was waiting to find out if it had worked or not.  The dreaded two week wait!  I was with my friends (or it could have been my sisters, I am not too sure) and was worried about climbing down from somewhere. I had to jump down from a height and refused to do it so turned back and went back the way we had just come from.  From that I jumped straight to being at a hospital being checked over and the nurse/doctor found a heartbeat with their stethoscope.

Obviously I know that this is not something that would happen.  There would be no heart beat in the two week wait but I woke up with that feeling of the treatment working out and giving us our dream, a family.  I will always have the little nagging feeling in the back of my mind that things may not turn out the way we want them to. I think it never goes away. It is there to save us from falling too far if bad news does come.  However when I first woke up I felt a sense of peace.

It is hard to put in to words how much I want this.  I know many of you have the same feelings as I do so understand exactly what I am trying to say here.  Roll on Thursday so I can start preparing for the start of self injecting, hormones going crazy and hopefully in a few months I will be able to share good news here.

2 comments:

  1. I hope you get only good news!

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  2. I am hopeful for you friend! You have worked so hard and waited so long! Thinking of you xo

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