Monday, 4 April 2011

April already

A quarter of the year over and done with.  Wasn't it just Christmas and New Years?  Time seems to pass so quickly and yet so slowly all at once.  When I look back it seems like things were just last week yet when I am waiting for something it seems to take forever to arrive.  I have been quiet of late.  The reason for this is nothing other than life being busy.  I have had a great few weeks. 

Surgery was seven weeks ago tomorrow the iv entry wounds have healed but are still very noticeable.  Externally my incisions are great unless I scratch and catch the one which then irritates me for hours.  Internally I wish I knew what was happening!  Excision surgery was supposed to make things better and while they are not worse I don't feel like things are better either.  As I said in my last short but sweet (complaining and sulking) post it was Mothers Day yesterday and my period very kindly showed up just to rub it in my face that I am still not a Mother.  Every time someone mentioned what day it was I cringed inside.  This morning I woke up before my alarm due to the pain in my uterus.  I wonder if the surgery was even worth it but I have to believe it is better to have had a large amount of disease, adhesion's and scar tissue removed?

Maybe I am hoping for too much too soon.  Internal healing takes time and I guess I just need a little patience.  In another seven weeks perhaps the pain will have settled down.  For now I guess I just have to get through it and get on with life.  I have actually been doing just that the last few weeks.  J and I booked a weekend away in North Wales we had fabulous weather even though it was still just March.  It was so peaceful and relaxing just what we needed.  We walked on the beach, drove through the mountains, sat and looked over the lake, saw waterfalls and explored caernafon castle.

See those blue skies!  We didn't even need coats just jeans and a t-shirt.  The pace of life up there was slow, the roads were quiet even on a Friday afternoon rush hour.  It was just relaxing and I felt completely stress free.  My only issue was if we walked very far, or stood for too long, that ever so reliable back ache kicked in.  I tried to split the days up so we weren't walking too much and luckily as it was still March most places were pretty quiet so there were always benches available to sit and rest for a few minutes.

We got home on the Sunday afternoon which gave me time to get ready to return to work on the Monday morning.  I was looking forward to returning and also dreading getting up.  I am so not a morning person but my alarm was set for 6.45am so I could get to work for 8.00am.  I felt amazingly relaxed and ready for anything.  It was a shame that feeling didn't last long enough.

1 comment:

  1. What beautiful pictures! I am so glad that you got some quiet time away. It is amazing what a difference a little "recharge" can do for emotional health.

    Have faith that things will feel better surgery wise soon. After my last endo/adhesion/etc. surgery, it was a full three months before I was feeling better. And even though the surgeon said to jump right into IVF cycles as soon as possible, my body wouldn't do response to stimulating medications, twice. I think healing is one more area that requires our patience...which doesn't come easily to me. I hope that you are feeling the benefits of surgery soon.