This year has gone by so quickly. I remember the struggle in 2010 to get my referral letter to the appropriate people to get me on the list for IVF. Finally on December 4th I was added. Then it seemed to take forever to get to the initial appointment with the clinic which we had in April. This was when I was told it was a 12 - 18 month wait. So just a few days in to 2012 and it will have already been 13 months!
I didn't know how I was going to get through this wait. It was such a long time. I also had my endometriosis surgery to focus on and get through. That was way back on February 15th! Almost 11 months ago.
I guess since I recovered from that I just decided to enjoy my life and what will be will be.
I joined ww at the end of June and I have lost 40lb's. Another 28lb to go but I am so much closer to that goal now. Add the fact I lost weight over Christmas week and I feel like I have achieved so so much.
In 2011 I also turned in to a bit of a telly addict. I watched Greys Anatomy from the beginning as I had never seen it before. Plus I have rewatched ER which is up to season 12 and I am on season six of One Tree Hill ( never watched this before either).
Any suggestions for other shows? I have just added The Wire into my planner as they are starting it from episode 1 on Jan 6th. Other shows I watch are Private Practise, Big Love, Blue Bloods, NCIS, Terra Nova, Falling Skies plus X Factor and American Idol. There are others I am forgetting (including Hawaii 5-0).
See what I mean!
It helps pass the time to keep busy and when I don't feel up to doing anything that involves moving too much thanks to endometriosis pain then watching tv is a great alternative.
So here's to 2012 may this be the year that those of us who want it so badly get our miracle. It has to be someones turn next fingers crossed I am in that elite list this year!
I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Weigh in Wednesday
Okay so it is Thursday not Wednesday. Due to the Christmas holidays most of the weigh in classes for ww were closed including my normal Wednesday evening class. My leader, however, decided that her Thursday evening class would be the one she would open and anyone could go along. So just to keep me on track and focused in this weight loss journey I went along to find out the damage, it is Christmas after all.
Christmas dinner was delicious between the two of us my DH and I managed to get it all done and on the table almost on schedule. I was aiming for two o'clock and we sat down around twenty past so not bad at all!
For some reason I didn't take any pictures when we were sat eating or afterwards when opening gifts. Strange that as we took loads of pictures last year. Oh well will have to remember to get the camera out and on the table for Christmas 2012 it will be here before we know it!
Anyway tonight weigh in. Drum roll please .................................. I lost half a lb!
Can you believe that? I was amazed, I have mentally been counting up my points every day in my head but not tracking as I would normally. Every day I enter my food on to my ww tracker and point ever single thing that passes my lips.
I guess what this shows me is that the pro points is working for me. It is teaching me how to change what I eat and how much I eat. Now I just have to have another good week.
Tomorrow we have all of DH's family here so more lovely food and then New Years Eve. After that though we are back to normal (hopefully all the chocs and nice things will be gone by then!).
Christmas dinner was delicious between the two of us my DH and I managed to get it all done and on the table almost on schedule. I was aiming for two o'clock and we sat down around twenty past so not bad at all!
For some reason I didn't take any pictures when we were sat eating or afterwards when opening gifts. Strange that as we took loads of pictures last year. Oh well will have to remember to get the camera out and on the table for Christmas 2012 it will be here before we know it!
Anyway tonight weigh in. Drum roll please .................................. I lost half a lb!
Can you believe that? I was amazed, I have mentally been counting up my points every day in my head but not tracking as I would normally. Every day I enter my food on to my ww tracker and point ever single thing that passes my lips.
I guess what this shows me is that the pro points is working for me. It is teaching me how to change what I eat and how much I eat. Now I just have to have another good week.
Tomorrow we have all of DH's family here so more lovely food and then New Years Eve. After that though we are back to normal (hopefully all the chocs and nice things will be gone by then!).
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
Weigh In Wednesday
Did you know that it is almost Christmas?
There are so many lovely foods, chocolates and biscuits. So many of my favourite things but I must resist. I still want to watch those scales to continually decrease in number. I have been giving in to temptation and indulging but in small quantities. Obviously every single point is being accounted for. For that reason the scales were once again kind to me and I lost another 1.5lb.
So now I have 29lb left to lose. In 29 weeks (maximum) I will be at my initial goal. How exciting that I feel like my goal is so achievable. From that point I will be able to determine where I am and if I want to continue to lose. I am not going to worry about anything past these next 29lb's. For now I need small goals to keep me motivated and encouraged.
My ww leader commented on how "in the zone" I am. She was spot on, as I am! I really don't want to gain over Christmas and I will do my best to not let that happen. Although I am realistic and if it does happen then it really is not the end of the world. There are so many more things out there that are down right awful and gaining a small amount of weight at Christmas doesn't even come close.
Why is it that around this time of the year there always seems to be so much tragedy and heartbreak to go along with all the good stuff? A friend of ours died on Monday, he took his own life. It was a complete shock. I don't think anyone expected it there had been no signs that he was thinking that way. Plus one of my endo sisters tried to take her own life and is currently in hospital in a coma. She needs surgery to relieve fluid from her brain. It is devastating to me that the pain and hurt this disease causes pushed another woman to feel her life was no longer worth living.
For any endo sister reading this, I am always here. If you need to reach out to anyone and feel like you don't have anyone. Well you do! I am here and so are so many other endo sisters on all the facebook groups. I think that one of the ladies is setting up a group with mobile numbers so that there is someone that be be contacted. I think this is a great idea and hopefully it might just be the lifeline that someone needs one day.
Light a candle at 7pm Thursday 22nd for our endo sister and if you pray then maybe add her in.
There are so many lovely foods, chocolates and biscuits. So many of my favourite things but I must resist. I still want to watch those scales to continually decrease in number. I have been giving in to temptation and indulging but in small quantities. Obviously every single point is being accounted for. For that reason the scales were once again kind to me and I lost another 1.5lb.
So now I have 29lb left to lose. In 29 weeks (maximum) I will be at my initial goal. How exciting that I feel like my goal is so achievable. From that point I will be able to determine where I am and if I want to continue to lose. I am not going to worry about anything past these next 29lb's. For now I need small goals to keep me motivated and encouraged.
My ww leader commented on how "in the zone" I am. She was spot on, as I am! I really don't want to gain over Christmas and I will do my best to not let that happen. Although I am realistic and if it does happen then it really is not the end of the world. There are so many more things out there that are down right awful and gaining a small amount of weight at Christmas doesn't even come close.
Why is it that around this time of the year there always seems to be so much tragedy and heartbreak to go along with all the good stuff? A friend of ours died on Monday, he took his own life. It was a complete shock. I don't think anyone expected it there had been no signs that he was thinking that way. Plus one of my endo sisters tried to take her own life and is currently in hospital in a coma. She needs surgery to relieve fluid from her brain. It is devastating to me that the pain and hurt this disease causes pushed another woman to feel her life was no longer worth living.
For any endo sister reading this, I am always here. If you need to reach out to anyone and feel like you don't have anyone. Well you do! I am here and so are so many other endo sisters on all the facebook groups. I think that one of the ladies is setting up a group with mobile numbers so that there is someone that be be contacted. I think this is a great idea and hopefully it might just be the lifeline that someone needs one day.
Light a candle at 7pm Thursday 22nd for our endo sister and if you pray then maybe add her in.
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Weigh In Wednesday
I wasn't very hopeful for this week. I did the best I could but it is that time of year. We went for the meal out with friends on Thursday evening. All you can eat Chinese, it was delicious. Then on Friday it was my workplace Christmas meal out and once again Chinese, all you can eat, including ice-cream for dessert, heaven!
It is amazing the difference in my choices. I avoided the fried rice and stuck with noodles. Much better in pro points plus I also prefer them. I had duck and sweet and sour chicken, spring rolls, onions rings, satay chicken, a mouthful of cheesecake a small amount of ice-cream with strawberries, marshmallows and a little chocolate off the chocolate fountain. It sounds like a lot but by sticking to small portions I was able to still have everything I wanted and still be sensible.
Saturday onwards I only had my daily pro points that was a bit of a struggle and I did slip up one day and went over by 3. Next time I will make sure I only arrange one night out in any week that way the points will last longer. But on the good side at least I now know I can do it . It is all about getting on with your life and making the life changes to sustain losses but still live and not miss out.
The reason I know I can do this and continue onwards is despite the obstacles that got in the way this week I still lost 2.5lb. I got another shiny silver 7 on my card and a lovely total of 38lb lost. I was shocked but over the moon!
I hope the rest of you who are battling to lose weight stick at it. It is a hard and long fight but if I can do this then so can you!
It is amazing the difference in my choices. I avoided the fried rice and stuck with noodles. Much better in pro points plus I also prefer them. I had duck and sweet and sour chicken, spring rolls, onions rings, satay chicken, a mouthful of cheesecake a small amount of ice-cream with strawberries, marshmallows and a little chocolate off the chocolate fountain. It sounds like a lot but by sticking to small portions I was able to still have everything I wanted and still be sensible.
Saturday onwards I only had my daily pro points that was a bit of a struggle and I did slip up one day and went over by 3. Next time I will make sure I only arrange one night out in any week that way the points will last longer. But on the good side at least I now know I can do it . It is all about getting on with your life and making the life changes to sustain losses but still live and not miss out.
The reason I know I can do this and continue onwards is despite the obstacles that got in the way this week I still lost 2.5lb. I got another shiny silver 7 on my card and a lovely total of 38lb lost. I was shocked but over the moon!
I hope the rest of you who are battling to lose weight stick at it. It is a hard and long fight but if I can do this then so can you!
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
A visit to the dentist
Seriously, 33 and I am scared of the dentist!
I had the ever so loved dentist appointment yesterday afternoon. I have never been a fan of the dentist. The smell the noise they all make me cringe. I sit in the waiting room my anxiety at an all time high. Why does a visit to the dentist do this to me? I know in my head it really isn't that bad but I can not control that fear.
I had hardly been in the waiting room a minute when I was called in which was good less time to let myself stress over what was to come. After all it was only a check up what could possibly go wrong. I sat myself down in the chair and they put the chair back. Instantly my eyes start to stream with tears. It must seem like I am crying as it is so bad but I just have the most sensitive eyes (apparently that can be linked to endo as well) that as soon as I am led back and the light hits them and the tears stream.
It was a new dentist she was very nice was talking to me the whole time to let me know what she was doing. It helped but not enough to set me right at ease. So carried out the check up and was looking back to my x-rays that were taken 6 months ago. There is one teeny tiny filling I have that they are worried may have decay behind it. Six months ago when the x-rays were done the dentist decided it was fine but this time they want to take the filling out and check behind it. If there is decay then they caught it quickly and no more damage can be done. I f there is not decay then it cost me money and caused even more anxiety than was ever needed.
I would love to ignore them and not make the follow up appointment. Common sense, however, tells me to man up and just get it over and done with. Then if there is decay it will save toothache down the line and an emergency appointment to get it sorted.
They also did a scale and polish while I was there which left my teeth feeling lovely and clean. I wish just brushing could do this but it never as good. Then it was time to check my gums. I have been mentioning to the dentist since February 2009 that my gums tend to bleed, a lot! In the past they have been happy that everything was okay and it must be the treatment that I was on at the time. It probably was as I was on Lup.ron at that time.
Yesterday they decided to tell me that at 33 I have the beginning of gum disease. Seriously I almost choked. Isn't 33 too young for gum disease? I guess not. As it is just the beginnings and in one specific area she was happy that if I get flossing that it should calm it down. I have never flossed and now I am kind of regretting it. It wasn't anything that we were told to do when we were growing up so I guess I never really thought it was needed. Last night I went and got myself floss and got started this morning. I forgot all about it last night.
So that's all the news from the ever so enjoyable dentist visit. Now I just have to book the appointment. Does someone want to come and hold my hand?
And Yes I blame the Lup.ron. I never had problems with my teeth or gums before I was put on it. Anyone reading this who is on Lup.ron or may go on it in the future make sure you take a calcium supplement to help keep the teeth and bones from suffering any consequences. I only wish I had known that before I started treatment.
(Courtesy of google images)
I had the ever so loved dentist appointment yesterday afternoon. I have never been a fan of the dentist. The smell the noise they all make me cringe. I sit in the waiting room my anxiety at an all time high. Why does a visit to the dentist do this to me? I know in my head it really isn't that bad but I can not control that fear.
I had hardly been in the waiting room a minute when I was called in which was good less time to let myself stress over what was to come. After all it was only a check up what could possibly go wrong. I sat myself down in the chair and they put the chair back. Instantly my eyes start to stream with tears. It must seem like I am crying as it is so bad but I just have the most sensitive eyes (apparently that can be linked to endo as well) that as soon as I am led back and the light hits them and the tears stream.
It was a new dentist she was very nice was talking to me the whole time to let me know what she was doing. It helped but not enough to set me right at ease. So carried out the check up and was looking back to my x-rays that were taken 6 months ago. There is one teeny tiny filling I have that they are worried may have decay behind it. Six months ago when the x-rays were done the dentist decided it was fine but this time they want to take the filling out and check behind it. If there is decay then they caught it quickly and no more damage can be done. I f there is not decay then it cost me money and caused even more anxiety than was ever needed.
I would love to ignore them and not make the follow up appointment. Common sense, however, tells me to man up and just get it over and done with. Then if there is decay it will save toothache down the line and an emergency appointment to get it sorted.
They also did a scale and polish while I was there which left my teeth feeling lovely and clean. I wish just brushing could do this but it never as good. Then it was time to check my gums. I have been mentioning to the dentist since February 2009 that my gums tend to bleed, a lot! In the past they have been happy that everything was okay and it must be the treatment that I was on at the time. It probably was as I was on Lup.ron at that time.
Yesterday they decided to tell me that at 33 I have the beginning of gum disease. Seriously I almost choked. Isn't 33 too young for gum disease? I guess not. As it is just the beginnings and in one specific area she was happy that if I get flossing that it should calm it down. I have never flossed and now I am kind of regretting it. It wasn't anything that we were told to do when we were growing up so I guess I never really thought it was needed. Last night I went and got myself floss and got started this morning. I forgot all about it last night.
So that's all the news from the ever so enjoyable dentist visit. Now I just have to book the appointment. Does someone want to come and hold my hand?
And Yes I blame the Lup.ron. I never had problems with my teeth or gums before I was put on it. Anyone reading this who is on Lup.ron or may go on it in the future make sure you take a calcium supplement to help keep the teeth and bones from suffering any consequences. I only wish I had known that before I started treatment.
Thursday, 8 December 2011
It's been a year! (Weigh In Wednesday)
I had to fight hard to get what I wanted and what we needed. Why I had to fight so hard I have no idea. After seven years of no birth control and not a single pregnancy I wanted my doctor's to listen to me and get me on the list for IVF. Here in the UK I am able to have two rounds of IVF on the NHS. It won't cost me a penny. I believe that one cycle consists of a fresh cycle plus and FET if there are enough fertilised eggs. So if I am right there are four chances for us to become pregnant.
I realised last night that it has been just over a year since I was added to the waiting list. See there is a downside to getting it free you also have to wait your turn. You get seen in the order that you are added to the list. So December 4th was the one year point. When I had my appointment back in April I was told that it was a 12 - 18 month wait. Going by everything else within the NHS I knew it was going to be longer so I have told myself that 18 months would be great but to be prepared to wait two years.
If it does turn out that two years is the correct timing then I am halfway there. I can wait another 12 months. It of course will be hard we are not getting any younger! J turns 40 in 2012. I feel like we will be the oldest parent ever.
Of course we won't but when all your old school friends all have children who are closer to ten years old than babies it makes you feel left so far behind everything.
I know that being an older mum will be beneficial in so many ways. I have learnt so much more patience. I have watched what my sisters do with there children and know which parts I will not do with mine and which I will.
Plus last night was Weight Watchers!
After last weeks stall this week was back to better news! Another 1lb off. This is a tough time of the year with so many parties and meals out. I have a meal out with some of our good friends tonight and then it is my works Christmas meal tomorrow night. For both we are going to all you can eat Chinese buffets. Chinese is my favourite but I will make wise choices to limit any damage done. I won't deprive myself I can still enjoy the food but like I have said before it is all a balancing to act.
I am sure I will be fine and if not then the following week it will be better.
Just quickly I want to say a big Congratulations to a fellow blogger friend of mine on the birth of her beautiful son! I am so pleased for her and her husband that her gorgeous son Ian Andrew is here.
Congratulations Princess Wahna Bea Mama over at The princess and the peestick
I realised last night that it has been just over a year since I was added to the waiting list. See there is a downside to getting it free you also have to wait your turn. You get seen in the order that you are added to the list. So December 4th was the one year point. When I had my appointment back in April I was told that it was a 12 - 18 month wait. Going by everything else within the NHS I knew it was going to be longer so I have told myself that 18 months would be great but to be prepared to wait two years.
If it does turn out that two years is the correct timing then I am halfway there. I can wait another 12 months. It of course will be hard we are not getting any younger! J turns 40 in 2012. I feel like we will be the oldest parent ever.
Of course we won't but when all your old school friends all have children who are closer to ten years old than babies it makes you feel left so far behind everything.
I know that being an older mum will be beneficial in so many ways. I have learnt so much more patience. I have watched what my sisters do with there children and know which parts I will not do with mine and which I will.
Plus last night was Weight Watchers!
After last weeks stall this week was back to better news! Another 1lb off. This is a tough time of the year with so many parties and meals out. I have a meal out with some of our good friends tonight and then it is my works Christmas meal tomorrow night. For both we are going to all you can eat Chinese buffets. Chinese is my favourite but I will make wise choices to limit any damage done. I won't deprive myself I can still enjoy the food but like I have said before it is all a balancing to act.
I am sure I will be fine and if not then the following week it will be better.
Just quickly I want to say a big Congratulations to a fellow blogger friend of mine on the birth of her beautiful son! I am so pleased for her and her husband that her gorgeous son Ian Andrew is here.
Congratulations Princess Wahna Bea Mama over at The princess and the peestick
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Weigh in Wednesday
Okay so I am a day late. Better late than never though right?
This week wasn't so great, but I am okay with that. On Monday J and I went Christmas shopping. Still a little early to feel completely christmassy. All our shopping is completed we have got every ones gifts so now I just have to get the wrapping paper and get them all wrapped. I am sure the presents will be waiting for the tree to go up.
While we were out we decided to eat out and I have been craving Nando's since we were first introduced to the restaurant back in July on our weekend in London. It was delicious but high in points! We also decided to have a bit of a liquid lunch. We never do this but it was lovely to just sit and talk, while having a drink, just the two of us. We haven't done anything like that in years.
Yesterday all public sector workers were on strike due to the government changing so much with pensions. Why do governments always take from the poor but keep giving to the rich. The divide gets bigger and bigger. So anyway the point about the strikes is the ww meeting is held at a school. The school was shut so we weighed in on Tuesday. After my liquid lunch and Nando's on Monday I wasn't holding out too much hope. I was dreading a gain and the tell tale circle drawn around the number. Although not great under the circumstances I had a good result.
I.stayed.the.same!
So on to this week, staying on track pointing everything that passes my lips. Hopefully that extra day will pay dividends and I will have a fantastic loss this week.
This week wasn't so great, but I am okay with that. On Monday J and I went Christmas shopping. Still a little early to feel completely christmassy. All our shopping is completed we have got every ones gifts so now I just have to get the wrapping paper and get them all wrapped. I am sure the presents will be waiting for the tree to go up.
While we were out we decided to eat out and I have been craving Nando's since we were first introduced to the restaurant back in July on our weekend in London. It was delicious but high in points! We also decided to have a bit of a liquid lunch. We never do this but it was lovely to just sit and talk, while having a drink, just the two of us. We haven't done anything like that in years.
Yesterday all public sector workers were on strike due to the government changing so much with pensions. Why do governments always take from the poor but keep giving to the rich. The divide gets bigger and bigger. So anyway the point about the strikes is the ww meeting is held at a school. The school was shut so we weighed in on Tuesday. After my liquid lunch and Nando's on Monday I wasn't holding out too much hope. I was dreading a gain and the tell tale circle drawn around the number. Although not great under the circumstances I had a good result.
I.stayed.the.same!
So on to this week, staying on track pointing everything that passes my lips. Hopefully that extra day will pay dividends and I will have a fantastic loss this week.
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